Friday, November 21, 2008

TABLETOP HEROES (Character Creation)

Session 1: Character Creation

GM invites his friends to play in a Superhero RPG
knowing his friends don't like Superhero RPGs

Its okay says the GM... we will play it really realistic in a world
with no actual superheroes

no costumes and no secret identities
but everyone needs to make a totally normal person
with no knowledge of their own superpoweredness
cause that is how the world is

The players all agree that that does, in fact, sound pretty cool and start making characters

Player 1 is a super hero geek at heart
Player 1 also knows how to break superhero games
Player 1 wants to make a teleporter/timetraveller
GM says fine
but his character has to be an overweight office worker
Player 1 agrees as long as the character can also be Asian
Player 1 thinks being Asian is super cool
GM says fine

Player 2 hates comics cause comics are stupid and juvenile
and aren’t nearly as cool as fantasy settings

Player 2 is also a rule monger
Player 2 picks the Power Mimic ability
Gm says fine
but his character is a male hospice nurse who has no idea how do use his power
Player 2 complains ALOT
GM says deal with it and gives him some power bonuses like range and crap to shut him up

Player 3 is a veteran Vampire roleplayer
Player 3 doesn't care what power he gets as long as he gets a lot of political influence
GM says fine
GM rolls randomly on the Power Acquisition Table
Player 3’s character is randomly assigned Flight
Player 3 also wants a hot wife with a tragic flaw like a terminal disease or something
GM gives him a wife who is crippled
Player 3 makes sure that the wife is still really hot even though she is crippled
GM assures Player 3 that she is
Player 3 thinks it would be a great idea if it was his character’s fault that she was crippled
and goes on and on about it to the point of absurdity

GM tells Player 3 that that is a great idea just so he can move on

Player 4 totally wants to be a brick with super strength
and doesn’t care what kind of character he plays

GM says fine
but his character has to be a low income single mom with a mental illness
Player 4 gets pissed
Player 4 threatens to quit
Player 4 says if he has to play a crazy MILF then she has to be a stripper from Vegas
GM sighs and says fine

Player 5 is the GM's girlfriend and doesn't really know how to play or what kind of character to make but she is just so happy that she is being included
GM makes her a hot teenage cheerleader who is also Immortal
Player 1, 2, 3 and 4 exchange a glance
GM also gives her a NPC protector who is a secret agent bad ass who is also her dad
Player 1, 2, 3 and 4 exchange another glance
Gm secretly decides that the NPC protector is not really her dad just in case he can convince her to hook up with him in character at some point
GM loves the NPC protector character a whole bunch and although he doesn't have a name or backstory he is so seriously Boba Fett style cool that the GM decides that the NPC is going to know each of the characters and have a way to keep tabs on them with a near omnipotent knowledge and access to their lives

GM silently celebrates his cleverness

GM needs a bad guy
GM takes some of the most broken powers in the book like Telekinesis and Cold Control plus the absurd Power Leech power with a ‘flaw’ that anyone subjected to the power immediately dies by having their brain sucked out or something and although this character is ridiculously overpowered and impossible to kill the GM is very pleased with himself and his ability to make interesting well rounded NPCs

Gm realizes too late that he really doesn't have any plot and that his characters are all starting out in different places around the world and don't know each other

GM panics and makes Player 2 and Player 3's characters related so that they can start in the same place

GM picks New York City cause that is where Spiderman is from

GM thanks everyone and can’t wait until next week

To be continued...

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Legendary Kung-Fu Warrior Turkeys!

Well, it is almost Thanksgiving and that reminded me of one of my favorite after school cartoons I used to watch as a kid: The Legendary Kung-Fu Warrior Turkeys. They were awesome in a way that I can only barely hint at here. Go find some old U-Tube clips. They will be worth the search. It was all 70's Kung-Fu movie action mixed with all the horrible stuff that I loved from the 80's. The villains were the best... Agrocult, Space Metal Heavies, The Gator Guard, Tsunami-man. Man, I loved that show. Sure there were stupid bits... like Rambozo and Teenage Keith Lu, but I still love it.

Here is a bit of fan art to rekindle those memories. Master Respendant Tailfeather was by favorite.

Obviously I haven't captured the exact look of the show here, but honestly, I always thought the cartoon was animated pretty poorly.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Tryptophans — A Holiday Meaties Social

Everyone is so concerned with where they are going for Thanksgiving dinner they haven't given any thought to what to do with their bloated greasy selfs afterwards.

Don't become a statistic... Be a Tryptophan instead.

If you are not a local Tacoman Meatie organize a Tryptophans event in your area.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Followed by Evolution of a Blue

(Click for full size animated gif.)
He oozes sleaziness... and methane.

EDITED: to avoid potential seizures.

Evolution of a Red

(Click on the image for full size animated gif)

I'm not sure I am 100% there YET... but this is the closest I have been.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Seriously... 5 Days of Donutsmas?!?

Yeah, I know... no posts, refresh only to stare at the Donutsmas sign. Where is the freshness? Where are the boobie paintings, monster doodles and superfluous super hero sketches?

Well, tomorrow night is another super secret meeting of a super secret thing
that I am happily a founding member of. It is so secret I can't even tell you what it is called.

But after tomorrow night... I'll post everything I've prepped for it (which includes a bunch of logos and playing cards).

Until then... here is a kitty cat that may (nor may not) have ever been posted here before.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

I'm making my own holiday

I've had such a shitty day I can think of nothing that will turn it around SHORT of declaring tomorrow a national G-Damned holiday.

So, for everyone out there, and especially Maya, I give you all...


Tuesday, November 4, 2008

In case you were curious...

And for no other reason than I agree with him.


Whether you support the Republicans or Democrats...

I urge you to vote.

It is your right and duty as an American citizen.

Once you've voted feel free to tell the world with your flavor of voting illustration:

(Free to download and distribute. Please give artistic credit if reposted on another site.)

Monday, November 3, 2008


It's Official. With last Friday's Frost Park Chalk-Off win secured I broke the three way tie for first place and have become the Greatest Illustrator in the Universe (of Tacoma).

This is how I did it:

Win One

Win Two

Win Three

Win Four

Win Five

Win Six

I think I will celebrate with a commemoratory tattoo. Something simple.