Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Better Know Your Zombie (part six of six)

No matter how compelling it may be, beware of making out with hot, naked alien vampires! This results in turning you into a lifeforce sucking zombie. A lifeforce sucker appears mummified and harmless. However, this is not the case...this zombie has strength and speed and will attack any living creature in its immediate vicinity. In fact, it exists ONLY to attack and consume another living being's lifeforce. It must continuously feed to remain ambulatory. Not intelligent, a lifeforce sucking zombie cannot speak or plan and carries no loyalties to individuals or groups. Upon feeding on another's lifeforce, a lifeforce sucking zombie experiences a brief period when they regain their life, humanity and personality. This time is understandably filled with confusion, regret and panic and MAKES THEM EXTREMELY DANGEROUS. The more feeding that occurs, however, reduces the duration of this reawakening. WARNING: Life sucking zombies will fall into dormancy and appear dead if no life forces are available to feed upon. DO NOT BE FOOLED. They remain extremely dangerous, are still active and at all costs must not be approached.

HOW TO KILL IT: The use of extreme blunt force trauma must be employed in such a way as to completely disintegrate the dry mummified husk of the zombie. The zombie must be reduced to dust or it remains an active life force sucking zombie NOTE: Killing the hot, naked alien vampire source of the lifeforce suckers may not result in the killing of subsequent zombies. Each must be exterminated individually.

1 comment:

John said...

i love the dood in the jeep giving the bird.